Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk might fight for some reason

In the immortal words of Azealia Banks: The girls are fighting! Except the girls are men, and the men being billionaires, and the billionaires being our tech overlords Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk. And they’re not precisely fighting yet, but they are talking about it. Reality continues to unfold in a cartoonish, Simpsons-esque parody of itself, so yeah, why not have Zuck and Musk duke it out in a cage fight?

This unlikely—or perhaps completely inevitable—drama between social media magnates apparently began when rumblings emerged of a Twitter competitor from Zuckerberg’s Meta (per Gizmodo). Musk has reacted to this news in the usual way, by posting a lot. “Zuck my [tongue emoji],” read one of tweets, while another snarked, “I’m sure Earth can’t wait to be exclusively under Zuck’s thumb with no other options. At least it will be ‘sane’. Was worried there for a moment.”

“Better be careful @elonmusk I heard he does the ju jitsu now,” one of Musk’s acolytes joked in response, to which the “Chief Twit” declared, “I’m up for a cage match if he is lol.”

Lol, indeed. Zuckerberg recently went viral for definitely not getting owned in a previous jiu-jitsu tournament, so perhaps it’s no surprise that he leaped at the opportunity to challenge a (presumably) less experienced opponent, or at least to do some posturing. The Facebook founder re-posted Musk’s tweet to his Instagram story with the caption “Send Me Location.” Could he possibly be serious? The official statement, given to The Verge: “The story speaks for itself.”

The ball then being firmly in Musk’s court, he doubled down by suggesting “Vegas Octagon,” and endorsing (via fire emoji) Joe Rogan as referee. “I have this great move that I call ‘The Walrus’, where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing,” he added, making the whole endeavor sound super cool.

Odds have to be in favor of this fight never transpiring—why would these two tech titans, who should really have better things to do, submit to a spectacle that would most likely be a humiliating dorkfest? A business rivalry is no reason to make a fool of yourself in physical combat in front of the eyes of the world. (Please, God, if this duel must take place, let it do so in front of the eyes of the world.) But there is certainly still a chance that the insidious nature of ego prevents either of them from backing down now that the challenge has been issued, so we might as well resign ourselves to the possibility. Insert a joke about real life becoming more like Black Mirror every day here.