Melissa Villaseñor shares that she left SNL for her mental health

Melissa Villaseñor was just one of many veteran Saturday Night Live cast members who departed from the sketch series this year, and now she’s opening up on how she came to the decision, citing a need to care for her mental health.

“Yeah, it was my decision,” Villaseñor says in an interview with Daily Beast. “I gave myself a lot of time in the summer to think on it and kind of play out in my head if I go back. At the end of the day it was about my mental health. Last season, I had a couple of panic attacks. I think it was just… I was struggling. I always felt like I was on the edge of a cliff every week. And I was like, I don’t want to be doing that to myself anymore. And it’s not like the show was mean towards me or anyone. It was just how I handle things.”

Villaseñor made SNL history as the show’s first Latina cast member, working on the show for six seasons and establishing herself as a resident impersonator. Despite feeling the need to depart SNL, Villaseñor says it “was super hard.”

“I love Lorne [Michaels] and I am so grateful for all of them for having me,” she adds. “I shared with them that this was my kid dream. This is all I wanted as a kid. So I’m going to carry that forever in my heart, that I got to experience that in my life.”

Stepping away from the rigorous cycle of SNL has allowed Villaseñor to channel her energy toward her new book, Whoops… I’m Awesome, as well as other creative endeavors.

“I almost feel reborn or something, because I have all this free time,” she says. “So I’m enrolling in classes, almost like a little kid. I’m taking guitar lessons and Spanish lessons. I signed up for a pottery class!”