Ne-Yo apologizes for his boneheaded remarks about trans kids

Trans kids have been at the center of the culture wars of late, probably because they’re easy targets, and also because a lot of adults who’d prefer to do no research on the topic nevertheless feel the need to express their opinion on it publicly. Such is the case with Ne-Yo, who recently waded into the discourse on trans youth for no apparent reason during an appearance on VladTV (per Billboard).

Ne-Yo’s groundbreaking remark on the subject is that he “just personally [comes] from an era where a man was a man and a woman was a woman. And there was two genders, and that’s just how I rocked.” He also threw out a classic, “You could identify as a goldfish if you feel like, I don’t care,” as long as you don’t “try to make me play the game with you.” He proclaimed, “I’m not gonna call you a goldfish. But if you wanna be a goldfish, you go be a goldfish. We live in a weird time, man. We do.”

Speaking with Gloria Velez in a video posted to YouTube on Saturday, he said, “I feel like parents have almost forgotten what the role of a parent is. If your little boy comes to you and says, ‘Daddy, I want to be a girl.’ And you just let him rock with that? He’s 5 … If you let this 5-year-old boy decide to eat candy all day, he’s gonna do that. When did it become a good idea to let a 5-year-old, let a 6-year-old, let a 12-year-old make a life-changing decision for themself? When did that happen? I don’t understand.”

The singer, who is also a father of seven, elaborated after the Instagram account “hollywoodunlocked” posted that he “condemns parents” for allowing their children to transition. “1st and foremost, I CONDEMN NO ONE. Who am I to condemn anybody? Your life, your kids, your choice. I was asked a question and I answered it. My opinion is mine. I’m not asking anybody to agree with me nor am I telling you what you can and cannot do with your children,” he wrote in a comment (per Billboard). “I stated my opinion on a matter and that’s that. Why should I care if my opinion upsets you when you don’t care if yours upsets anyone? Opinions aren’t special. We all have one. People voice them regularly whether they’re asked or not. I was actually asked mine. Agreeing to disagree is not a declaration of war. Y’all do whatever the hell y’all want to. But my feelings on the matter are mine. Same way yours are yours. Meanwhile, I love everybody. Don’t agree with some of y’all’s ideals….but love you no less.”

By Sunday, however, the Grammy winner was walking his comments back. “After much reflection, I’d like to express my deepest apologies to anyone that I may have hurt with my comments on parenting and gender identity,” he wrote in a post shared to X (formerly Twitter). “I’ve always been an advocate for love and inclusivity in the LGBTQI+ community, so I understand how my comments could’ve been interpreted as insensitive and offensive.”

Ne-Yo pledged to better educate himself on the topic as “gender identity is nuanced,” and said he hoped to “approach future conversations with more empathy.” He concluded his post by saying, “At the end of the day, I lead with love and support everyone’s freedom of expression and pursuit of happiness.”