Netflix to redefine "binge viewing" by broadcasting Joey Chestnut vs. Kobayashi hot dog showdown
News of "Chestnut Vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef" comes just a day after Chestnut caught a ban from Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
Earlier this week, news broke that living hole Joey Chestnut had caught a ban from this year’s July 4 installment of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest—which is a bit like hearing that Taylor Swift had been banned from a contest for writing above-average pop songs that people on the internet hijack and transform into their entire identities. (We would have compared him to an athlete, but you can make a decent argument that no athlete on the planet is as good at their chosen sport as Joey Chestnut is at his.) Chestnut is, after all, basically synonymous with the Coney Island-based contest at this point, having won it 16 out of the last 17 years, displaying an unparalleled skill at shoving very wet hot dog buns (and the helpless meat tubes trapped within them) down his comparatively larger meat tube, under timed conditions.
If we’re being honest, though, Chestnut’s ban did feel a little calculated: It came after he signed an endorsement deal with vegan company Impossible Foods, violating the endorsement structures of the Nathan’s contest—and bringing a lot of attention to Impossible in the aftermath. (Chestnut says he’s trying to transition to an all-vegan diet, possibly because decades of competitive eating has transformed his internal geographies into a Hieronymus Bosch painting.) And now, just a day after the world of competitive food hoovering was rocked by the scandal, Chestnut has announced a new partnership with Netflix, which is set to air a live competition between Chestnut and his old rival, former world champion Takeru Kobayashi.
Kobayashi is, of course, a legend in the field: He appeared suddenly on the international scene in 2001, when he not only doubled the standing world record at the Nathan’s contest, but also introduced the world to the so-called “Solomon technique” of making the hot dog buns extremely wet and nasty so that they’re easier to choke down at speed. He dominated the sport for most of the next decade—until Chestnut arrived on the scene and became an instant rival, eventually besting him in 2007. And while he hasn’t competed in the Nathan’s contest in many years, Kobayashi continues to hold many records in the world of competitive eating, and once defeated his long-time rival in a contest to see who could speed-eat the most Pizza Hut P’Zones. That last part isn’t strictly relevant to this story, we just wanted to see what all those words looked like stringed together, in the only context where other human beings might ever actually read and understand them.
Anyway: Netflix waded in to the scrum today to announce that it’s going to broadcast a live competition between these two titans of deepthroating cased meats, semi-cleverly calling the event Chestnut vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef. The competition will take place on Labor Day 2024, with the two men facing off to do the one thing that society has repeatedly told them that they will be valued for. Also, they said some wrestling-style intimidation stuff, which is very funny to read when you remember it’s all just about wolfin’ dogs. (For context, Kobayashi is supposedly retired, because he’s 46 and even a body that did this has limits.)
Chestnut:
Through all of my years in competitive eating, Kobayashi stands out as my fiercest rival. Competing against him pushed me to be so much better. I know that fans have waited a long time for another chapter of our rivalry and I can’t wait for our massive showdown live on Netflix! It’s time to give the people what they want!
Kobayashi:
Retiring for me will only happen after I take him down one last time. This rivalry has been brewing for a long time. Competing against Joey live on Netflix means fans all over the world can watch me knock him out.