New York’s hottest never-made Stefon movie would’ve killed off Seth Meyers
The now-defunct movie about the SNL superstar was going to get rid of Seth Meyers the old-fashioned way
By this point, city correspondent Stefon is a Saturday Night Live legend. His obsession with hyper-specific fetishes and holding his hands to his face made “Weekend Update” a must-watch segment in the late 2000s. Bill Hader’s indelible character spilled the tea on New York’s hottest clubs and inevitably made “Weekend Update” host Seth Meyers’ life much worse by never giving usable advice. That relationship was expected to carry on to the big screen, as all SNL characters must when they reach a level of cultural ubiquitousness. It’s how we end up with It’s Pat. The system works.
Obviously, Stefon never made the jump to the big screen, which is good news for Meyers, who would’ve been killed off in the first scene. Appearing on Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers’ Las Culturistas podcast, Meyers discussed the script for the now-defunct Stefon movie. More importantly, he would’ve been a bridge that helped connect the world of Weekend Update to the world of the film. All he had to do was die, or so Meyers pitched to Hader.
“There was a moment in time where the idea of a Stefon script was being discussed,” Meyers said. But the comedian knew he wouldn’t be Stefon’s sidekick in the film and needed to be written out.
I said, here’s how I think it should start: It should start with Stefon at ‘Weekend Update,’ and when it’s over, I’m once again disappointed that as the city correspondent, he did not bring whatever St. Patrick’s Day tips. And he says, ‘To make it up to you, just come out, have a night me and you together, Stefon’s New York.’ And I’m like, ‘All right, one night.’ And then you would do these super fast cuts of he and I at all these crazy clubs. That would be the opening montage, and then it would end with me in a body bag, and Stefon would say, ‘He’s dead!’ Then the splash: Stefon: The Movie.
Of course, none of this ever happened. Seth Meyers never died after a night out with Stefon. In fact, in the show’s lore, Stefon and Seth found happiness in each other. In his last appearance, the pair even got married. We can only assume that Seth and Stefon Meyers are still happily together to this day.