Nymphomaniac

Last month Lars Von Trier served up his first “appetizer” for Nymphomaniac, paired with a charming aperitif cocktail of train-and-chocolate metaphors for sex that were meant to whet anticipation for the veritable buffet of celebrity sausage the film’s promised since its inception. Now there’s this second “appetizer,” a coldly British course that’s the equivalent of a thin bouillabaisse, to be immediately followed by Shia LaBeouf’s spotted dick. LaBeouf tries on his LaBritish accent as “Jerome,” a man who—according to Von Trier’s chapter description—believes “love is just lust with jealousy added,” and who is seen here meeting the younger version of Charlotte Gainsbourg’s Joe (played by Stacy Martin) and “penetrating her armoured defences.” Or rather, here he’s seen penetrating them; in the video, he’s mostly just turning Joe’s first-day job orientation into a look for love in an elevator, lovin’ it up ‘til he hits the ground and has psychologically rich sex on it.