Olympic streaker attempts to spread message about peace, love, monkey-faced dick pouches

The great thing about the Olympics is that, even if you don’t especially care about sports, it still provides a whole bevy of authentic human moments to indulge in. Heartbreaking defeats. Joyous moments of levity. A guy in a tutu, streaking onto the ice, then falling flat on his butt.

That last one showed up in Pyeongchang this morning; according to TMZ, a guy with “Peace And Love” written on his chest—and a tasteful monkey-shaped pouch covering his personal bronze and golds—snuck onto the ice at the Men’s 1,000 Meter Speed Skating event this morning, in an apparent attempt to promote an international spirit of togetherness. Is there Instagram footage of this, we hear you asking, breath bated as it’s never been before? We are happy to confirm: Of course there is.

Of course, the thing about speed skating is that it takes place on, you know, ice. And so the real message our hero here ended up spreading was less about peace and love, and more a meditation on how many times a naked guy can slip and bust his ass on a very slick surface before he eventually gives up.

It’s no “Soy Bomb,” but we’ll take it.

 
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