Based on the trailer, the Orphan prequel First Kill should've been called Dear Orphan Hansen

They grow up so fast, don’t they?

2009's Orphan is predicated on a simple twist—that maybe this murderous child isn’t who she says she is. Alas, the quiet Estonian child, played by a 12-year-old Isabelle Fuhrman, was, in fact, a grown-ass woman. Parents everywhere fear the day a doctor tells them their child is a 30-something weirdo. For Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, the well-meaning parents from Orphan, that day couldn’t have gone worse—what with all the murders.

Now that you know the twist, the producers of the prequel Orphan: First Kill assume you won’t mind if the now 25-year-old Fuhrman just goes around killing people while playing an even younger version of the character. But, in what can only be described as Clifford-ication of Esther, the new trailer makes no bones about an adult playing character, so long as everyone else is standing on apple boxes.

Although Esther looks older, she’s technically younger in First Kill. The movie is a prequel in which another pair of doomed parents, played by Rossif Sutherland and Julia Stiles, bring home a stabby adult instead of their darling little girl. Thankfully, they’ll love their little girl no matter how old she is.

Unfortunately, as we all know, little Esther isn’t who she says she is. She’s much, much older than her victorian dresses and (presumably load-bearing) choker let on. We’re willing to put money on this: if you take that collar off, her head will roll right off her neck.

Here’s the synopsis:

Esther’s terrifying saga continues in this thrilling prequel to the original and shocking horror hit, Orphan. After orchestrating a brilliant escape from an Estonian psychiatric facility, Esther travels to America by impersonating the missing daughter of a wealthy family. Yet, an unexpected twist arises that pits her against a mother who will protect her family from the murderous “child” at any cost.

Despite the slight flashbacks to Dear Evan Hansen, Pen15, Chad, and the million other movies and shows where adults play kids, Orphan: First Kill doesn’t shy away from what it is and what the first one was: A fun slasher with an absolutely ludicrous premise.

Orphan: First Kill comes to Paramount+ and theaters on August 19.