Pew Research has finally settled the "Who's a millennial?" question, once and for all
“Millennial” has always been an irritatingly nebulous word, generally defined as “anybody younger than me who has irritating opinions on politics or avocados.” No more, though; the dedicated pollsters at Pew Research have finally hammered down an exact age barrier for the generational group, presumably as a stopgap measure against them ruining the survey-taking industry, too.
Congratulations are in order, then, for anyone born between 1981 and 1996: You’re officially a millennial (at least, in the eyes of Pew). Other groups—like the U.S. Census—might define the category more broadly (stretching from 1982 to 2000), but Pew’s putting its Ugg-clad foot down on the issue.
Anyway, you can all pick up your mandatory participation trophies (and the largely-unearned contempt of Baby Boomers and Generation X-ers everywhere) on the way out, but watch your backs for the advancing forces of the still ill-defined Generation Z: Those kids aren’t fucking around.