Rob Lowe compares his time on The West Wing to an abusive relationship

Rob Lowe’s departure from The West Wing was a juicy behind-the-scenes drama back in 2002. Rumors abounded that the exit had to do with disputes over screen time or salary. Lowe apparently never told his side of the story in full—“I shared some of them in my book,” he said on a recent episode of Stitcher Studios’ Podcrushed recorded before the strike, “I purposely didn’t share half of the other ones because it would make the people involved look so bad that I didn’t want to do it to them.”

He was willing to tell Penn Badgley and his co-hosts that he “felt very undervalued” on the hit NBC drama. He alluded vaguely to actors’ “relationships on their shows” and being “in an environment where people sandbag you, want to see you fail, don’t appreciate you,” saying that sort of thing “happens in any workplace.”

As for his actual workplace (i.e., The West Wing), “I did not have a good experience,” Lowe admitted outright. “Tried to make it work and tried to make it work and tried to make it work and then what happened was my kids were getting to a certain age where I could see them having first girlfriends or friends and being in a relationship that was abusive and taking it. She’s the popular girl, everybody likes her, she’s beautiful, it must be great. All the things that people would say about making The West Wing to me. It’s so popular, it’s so amazing, it must be amazing, but I know what it’s like and if I couldn’t walk away from it, then how could I empower my kids to walk away from it?”

Lowe has had a fruitful television career in the years since, with long stints on Brothers & Sisters and Parks And Recreation among others. The West Wing was also super successful, concluding in 1999 with a bevy of Emmys and plenty critical acclaim under its belt. Lowe even returned for a special guest appearance in the seventh season (showrunner Aaron Sorkin had himself departed after the fourth season).

All told, Lowe doesn’t regret bowing out. “I walked away from the most popular girl at school,” he said, “but I also knew that it was a super unhealthy relationship, and it was the best thing I ever did.”