RoboCop

The first trailer for Jose Padhila’s RoboCop remake indicated that the new, updated model would put “a man inside a machine,” so that the machine could continue to have tender moments with his wife and son. And while fans of the original balked at a RoboCop whose prime directive was love, arguing that overwriting the code to make him more human was a perversion of what God intended when he first put cops and robots together in the Garden of Eden, this new trailer comes right out and decries that sort of backward thinking.

“Why is America so robophobic?” Samuel L. Jackson asks accusingly, chastising those whose ugly prejudices have them clinging to old-fashioned notions of what RoboCops are, what with their 1980s-era R-rated violence and slyly satirical commentaries. This is a newer, more progressive, PG-13 age, it argues, where our RoboCops are proud to show their affections and our drone warfare allegories are worn right on our sleeves, as seen in Padhila’s introduction. And so, despite your objections that it's just not natural, a new RoboCop will be released on Valentine’s Day, by which point—so long as RoboCop conservatives don’t have their way—robots everywhere will also be able to celebrate their love openly without fear of reprisal.