Shh! A secret David Lynch movie might premiere at Cannes in May
It supposedly has Laura Dern in it, but that's all we know
Last January, during one of his regular YouTube weather reports, David Lynch promised that his next video would feature an announcement. That was all he said, and at the time, we explained that—just from the nature of this being a thing that David Lynch announced during a daily YouTube vlog where he says if it’s sunny outside—he could’ve been referring to literally anything. It could’ve been something exciting, like the mysterious Netflix show we’ve heard about, or it could’ve been something totally normal that would only be fun or interesting because of the weird appeal of his totally banal weather reports. It ended up being the latter, naturally, but we want you to keep that story in mind when we get to the actual bit of news here.
That news is that Variety has heard from “two well-informed sources” that David Lynch is going to premiere a secret and “completely off the radar” feature film at Cannes in May this year. All we know about this rumored film is that Laura Dern will be in it (“either as a cameo or a supporting role”), but that’s about as useful as hearing that Michael Caine will make a token appearance in a Christopher Nolan movie. David Lynch has his squad of actors, and Laura Dern is arguably the best one, so of course she’ll be in this secret movie. Hell, we wouldn’t be surprised if the movie were called Laura Dern and she played every part.
Variety guesses that it could also be “an extended pilot” of the aforementioned mysterious Netflix show, but nobody knows for sure. What we do know is that Cannes is happening in about a month, from May 17 to May 28, so we don’t have that much longer to wait.
But hey, if you’ll be at Cannes and this Lynch movie isn’t real (or it’s some kind of quirky thing like his weather reports), at least you can see the premiere of Lightyear or Top Gun: Maverick or Elvis. Those are fine consolation prizes, right? (The real consolation prize would be David Cronenberg’s Crimes Of The Future, surely, but we chose those other three movies for comedic effect based on the fact that they have very little in common with the works of David Lynch.)