From one den of snakes to another, right #MAGA fam? That’s what a new report in Page Six implies, saying that Steve Bannon, recently of White House fame, is attempting to return to his pre-political career method of autofellatio by taking meetings with—gasp!—godless left-wing movie studios.
Bannon was a movie producer of minor note in the ‘90s, executive producing Sean Penn’s The Indian Runner in 1991 and Julie Taymor’s Shakespeare adaptation Titus in 1999 before retiring to the more liver-spot-friendly climate of screeching right-wing political documentaries in the ‘00s. He also, we regret to remind you, wrote a hip-hop musical about the L.A. riots that contains the line, “Bitch, please! It becomes a man. Breasts nursing look no lovelier than when a forehead spits forth blood.” Shockingly, it remains unproduced to this day.
This time around, however, Bannon is reportedly looking to combine his passions by producing Westerns, presumably to appeal to the stale testosterone musk that hangs over his and President Trump’s conservative base. As an unnamed “insider” tells the gossip rag: “The Western thing actually makes sense when you consider his strategy with Trump. Maybe [Bannon] thinks there’s an untapped market for movies about John Wayne-style alpha males.”
Too late, Steve: American Assassin is in theaters now.