The Expendables 2

Acknowledging its existence as the action movie equivalent of a fantasy football league or YouTube mash-up, this teaser trailer for The Expendables 2 does little more than trot out all the last-name-only badasses of yesterday and today (plus Liam Hemsworth), all calculated to make your inner 15-year-old boy totally stoked. And if you want a coherent plot, you’ll have to wait—possibly forever—until Stallone and company get done posing with their guns and walking away from things in slow motion. But let’s be honest here: That's sort of the point. This is, after all, a movie whose logo involves a metal skull getting stabbed in the eyes with knives, and then said skull sprouts wings made out of even more knives and some guns. It's like the nation’s movie theaters are a school desk, and Stallone is just gonna carve that shit right in there.