Golden Globes recap: the HFPA sure was eager to please in their big Hollywood comeback

Somehow, the Golden Globes have returned, and despite decades worth of abhorrent behavior by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, Hollywood’s brightest stars gathered to pick up some awards and declare what a changed organization the HFPA is. The irony wasn’t lost on host Jerrod Carmichael who opened his monologue, “I’m here because I’m Black.”

“I’m not saying they were a racist organization,” Carmichael said, “but it didn’t have a single Black member until George Floyd died.” It was the first of many of Carmichael’s jokes that played better at home than in the room. “One minute you’re at home making mint tea, the next you’re invited to be the Black face of an embattled white organization.”

But it was a big night for many deserving people, with multiple wins for Abbott Elementary, Everything Everywhere All At Once, The Fabelmans, and The White Lotus.

Abbott Elementary won Best Television Series — Musical or Comedy, and the staff at Abbott Elementary also had a good night. The Oscar Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor in a Television series went to Tyler James William. However, his co-star Quinta Brunson won even bigger, picking up the Globe for Best Actress in a Television Comedy.

Some other big TV awards were a little stranger. Despite Severance and Better Call Saul being nominated, House Of The Dragon won Best Television Series. We also don’t know how that happened, but it helped HBO eke out three awards.

Bob Odenkirk was having a disappointing night all around as he was snubbed for Best Actor. The HFPA gave the award to Kevin Costner for Yellowstone, but he did not attend the ceremony. Because of the rain in Los Angeles, Costner was apparently sheltering in place at his home in Santa Barbara. Be safe out there, Kevin.

Up-and-coming motion picture director Steven Spielberg nabbed his third Golden Globe for The Fabelmans, a movie he directed the ef out of. His little film won Best Picture. Good luck to Mr. Spielberg in all his future endeavors.

The banshees were screaming, with The Banshees Of Inisherin grabbing three awards, including Best Picture — Musical or Comedy. Colin Farrell won Best Actor, but most importantly, he became one of two people tonight to praise Blonde publicly. Brave Colin. Farrell’s writer-director Martin McDonagh won Best Screenplay for The Banshees. He promised it wouldn’t take 14 years for his next collaboration with the Best Actor winner.

Though controversy hung over the ceremony, the Globes were primarily interested in making this the most crowd-pleasing night possible. Is there a better way to do that than by rewarding Ke Huy Quan? The actor’s comeback train rolled into awards-ville and left with the Best Supporting Actor trophy for Everything Everywhere All At Once. Quan thanked Steven Spielberg, who was a fixture throughout the night.

“I was raised to never forget where I came from and to always remember who gave me my first opportunity,” Quan told the audience. “I am so happy to see Steven Spielberg here tonight. Steven, thank you!”

“For so many years, I was afraid I had nothing more to offer, that no matter what I did, I would never surpass what I achieved as a kid,” he continued. Thankfully, more than 30 years later, two guys thought of me. [Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert] remembered that kid. And they gave me an opportunity to try again.”

Everything Everywhere was winning everything everywhere. Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy for her fantastic performance in The Daniels’ film. “It has been an incredible fight to get here, but I think it was worth it,” she said. “I remember when I came to Hollywood, it was a dream come true until I got here.”

“This movie for me was such an homage to so many women like that around us who are sometimes invisible, who we take for granted,” she said. “There’s so many relatable things, and all because they were chasing the American dream. […] We all know that it’s so hard. I think any immigrant that comes here will tell you how difficult it is and of sometimes failing and not being able to find it.”

“Shut up, please,” Michelle Yeoh told the pianist trying to play her off during her acceptance speech. “I can beat you up.”

The good feelings continued as Angela Bassett won Best Supporting Actor for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. It was her second Golden Globe—her first, as she noted in her speech, came for her role in What’s Love Got To Do With It.

While Babylon probably won’t be picking up many awards this season, the HFPA awarded Best Original Score to Justin Hurwitz, perhaps the movie’s most impressive part.

Best Original Song was a more joyous occasion, honoring M.M. Keeravani for RRR’s certified banger “Natuu Natuu,” putting a nice cap on the 12-film collaboration between Keeravani and RRR director S.S. Rajamouli. The only disappointment was the lack of dancers rushing the stage to dance with their suspenders.

Jeremy Allen White won the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a TV comedy for the hilarious show The Bear. “I love acting,” White said as he was played off. We love watching you act. From “Yes, chef” to “Ciao, Papa,” Guerillmo del Toro’s Pinocchio won a well-earned Best Animated Movie, with del Toro warning people that “it’s not a kids movie, but kids can watch it, and you can explain it to them.”

Pinocchio helped Netflix pick up four awards, including Evan Peters, who won Best Actor in a Limited Series (Dahmer) and Julia Garner, Best Actress in a Television Series (Ozark).

Austin Butler was in the building, winning the Best Actor Golden Globe for Elvis. We’re not sure if Butler has a voice outside his Elvis accent, but he told his fellow nominees that they turned in the “most beautiful and profound work.” Hopefully, one day we’ll be privy to Mr. Butler’s natural speaking voice.

In one of the more awkward moments, Jerrod Carmichael lost the crowd by saying Shelly Miscavige’s name on television. “Backstage, I found these three Golden Globe awards that Tom Cruise returned,” Carmichael said as he juggled through trophies in his hands. “I think maybe we take these three things and exchange them for the safe return of Shelly Miscavige.” Shelly Miscavige is the wife of Scientology head David Miscavige. If you ask Leah Remini, a vocal critic and escapee of the religion, Shelly has been missing for some time. Then he brought out Crusie’s Top Gun: Maverick co-stars Glenn Powell and Jay Ellis. It was weird.

Cate Blanchett, in a likely precursor to the Oscars, won Best Actress for Tár. But, unfortunately, she was not there, so Henry Golding moved on to award the Best Non-English Language Movie to Argentina in 1985, likely upsetting the RRR heads in the audience.

When it comes to performances in limited series, only four names will do. Paul Walter Hauser won Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series for Black Bird and rightly asked the room to give a standing ovation for the late Ray Liotta. The incomparable Jennifer Coolidge won Best Supporting Actress in The White Lotus—as if there was any doubt. She was happy to say that she’s still down to do some American Pie movies. Amanda Seyfried, who was not there because she’s filming a musical (news to us), won for The Drop Out and Evan Peters won for Dahmer—Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.

As Jennifer Coolidge was on everyone’s mind, The White Lotus won Best Limited Television series. Mike White accepted the award but was too drunk to think because they only have liquids at the Globes. How drunk? Enough to tell the crowd of Hollywood elites that he knows they all passed on being on the show. Who’s laughing now? It’s Mike White. Mike White is laughing.

Will all these populist wins bring people back to The Golden Globes? Were people ever there for the Golden Globes? That’s a discussion for another day, but at least that very long show is now over.