The Lone Ranger

After an initial trailer that was full of stylized Southwestern spectacle, and centered on a runaway, artisanal train that was a handy metaphor for the film's budget, this second look at Gore Verbinski's The Lone Ranger takes a quiet moment to set up the quaintly familiar story of the masked man and his faithful Cherokee companion—and also, that masked man is some kind of zombie now. Yes, like a fancy crow chapeau that is the finishing touch to any Native American ensemble, Verbinski seems to have added Johnny Depp's Tonto—as opposed to merely nursing him back from health—actually bringing Armie Hammer's Lone Ranger back from the dead, thus transforming the tale into the Pirates Of The Caribbean-style supernatural mishmash that is his idiom. Even more flashy nonsense ensues, and at one point the screenplay simply spews out, "Let's do this" for Hammer to growl before they set off to shoot at things. "Whatever gets us to the train on time," seems to be the motto here. Hey look, that horse is wearing a hat. Also, it's psychic, apparently.