There's no way this Wicker Man roller coaster can be as scary as Nicolas Cage yelling about the bees

When choosing the subject for their upcoming blockbuster theme park rides, relatively few roller coaster designers, for whatever reason, opt for the “’70s horror film with a much-derided Nicolas Cage remake” option. Still, it’s not like it never happens, as proven by this Entertainment Weekly piece about an upcoming British theme park ride based on that old pagan classic, The Wicker Man.

Rather than forcing thrill-seekers to dare The Bees, though, the ride’s big hook is apparently sending riders through a burst of flame, the better to accurately capture the family-friendly sensation of being burnt alive as a sacrifice to unknowable and ancient gods. The “multisensory rite of passage” is being planned for the U.K.’s Alton Towers park, and is the first wooden coaster to be built in the country in several decades.

Aw, fuck it. Let’s hop back in line and do it again: