ABC decides it's time to give Tim Allen another try

Three years after the unceremonious end of Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing, the woke mind virus continues to ravage unabated. On every street corner, men are flogged, tarred, and feathered for using the wrong pronouns and insinuating that comedies like Blazing Saddles could never be made today. It’s been horrible. You can’t say anything anymore without affording someone dignity. Allen abandoned the men who depended on him to stand up and protect them from throngs of swagged-out cancel culture warriors. Instead, he fled for the North Pole, where his Santa Clauses co-stars could reveal that he’s “so fucking rude,” never makes “eye contact” with his scene partners, and announces, “Leaving!” when he’s done with his scenes. (And that’s on a “good day”).

Never fear, because Hollywood’s grumpiest Santa Claus is heading back to network sitcoms, leading the pilot for ABC’s Shifting Gears, per Deadline. Created by former Simpsons veterans Mike Scully and Julie Thacker Scully, the show focuses on a [sigh], a stubborn widower who owns a classic car restoration shop. While that sounds like quite a stretch for the once and (possibly) future Tim “The Toolman” Taylor, he’s also got an estranged daughter and a litter of snowflake grandchildren moving in, too.

ABC was the original home of Last Man Standing, which the network canceled after six seasons. Upon its cancelation, Allen tweeted, “Stunned and blindsided by the network I called home for the last six years.” The tweet set off a conspiratorial feeding frenzy over the silencing of Allen’s voice, a common occurrence for the actor. In reality, though politics might have played a factor, the show (and, more specifically, the cast’s ballooning salaries) was likely too expensive to justify the cost. The show eventually moved to Fox, where it ran for its final three seasons.

It’s not hard to see why they chose Allen for the role. His work is frequently framed from the perspective of a beleaguered chauvinist who can’t understand why people make fun of him for asking [bong rip], “If we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?” and “Who is the face of woke? Do wokees have a club house in someone’s backyard or maybe a cute yet safe playpen somewhere?” Allen, a well-known car enthusiast, loves to stay in his lane.