Twitter might finally be giving 280-character tweets to all its unwashed, no-checkmark peasants

For the last month or so, Twitter has found itself a social messaging service divided, splitting itself between the haves—i.e., those who’ve now been gifted with the ability to send out tweets with 280 characters, twice the traditional limit—and those of us scrabbling around in the bitter, barren soil of 140.

But there is hope in the wilderness: Politico reports on a rumor of binge-tweeting salvation, posting that Twitter might be about to bite the bullet bump every single user up to the fabled 280. (Additional rumors that the site’s real goal is to curb harassment by making people’s timelines so ugly that no one reads them anymore remain apocryphal at best.) Politico notes that various political insiders are getting excited that they’ll soon be unleashing 280-character torrents of their own, because we all have to accept that micro-blogging cat GIFs and dick jokes is now a key part of the American governmental machine. Meanwhile, the rest of us can sigh contentedly, happy in the certainty that brevity is no longer the soul of wit.